In moments of self-reflection during recovery, we can confront an uncomfortable truth - that the journey is rarely linear.
The path towards change — whether breaking free from alcohol or overcoming other substance dependence - demands we embrace an essential paradox; that true healing often emerges from our perceived setbacks.
As Dr. Chris Davis (Clean Slate co-founder, GP and AOD specialist) will tell you, "Recovery isn't about never falling; it's about learning to get up each time with an improved understanding of ‘why’ we fell in the first place."
Consider a marathon runner. They don't sprint from start to finish but rather find their rhythm, adjust their pace, and sometimes, slow down to ensure they complete the distance. Similarly, meaningful personal change is not about racing to perfection but about sustainable progress.
"Sustainable growth towards change comes from building consistent, manageable habits rather than attempting dramatic overnight changes." Dr Chris says.
So how should we respond if we relapse? Rather than surrendering to self-judgment, we can choose to approach these moments with curiosity.
Ask what circumstances surrounded the slip up? What internal narrative were we telling ourselves? Was it confidence we craved? A temporary escape from anxiety? Often, stress emerges as a primary trigger for substance use, pushing us toward familiar but harmful coping mechanisms.
By identifying these underlying triggers, we can begin to map the whole landscape of our dependence and work out the best path to recovery. Instead of ruminating in regret, we can use these junction points to create practical strategies for maintaining a healthy relationship with alcohol. This might mean identifying when to reach out to your support network, attending additional SMART recovery meetings, or ensuring you have healthy coping tools readily available.
Chris Gimpel, who leads our SMART recovery groups as Head of Client Engagement at Clean Slate, sees these concerns come up regularly in group discussions. Having navigated his own journey with alcohol dependence, Chris understands deeply how setbacks can impact someone's confidence and mental wellbeing.
He shares, "You know what? These questions come up in almost every session - you're definitely not alone in this. What I've learned, both personally and from our group members, is that reaching out after a lapse is one of the bravest things you can do. Just having that conversation, whether it's with a support person or even in the SMART Recovery group, can give you that spark to keep going. That's where the real strength is - in being open about it and letting others support you. After any slip up - you actually have completed an experiment and now have all the data you need to choose the next steps"
Ultimately, progress isn't about achieving perfection - it's about developing a deeper understanding of ourselves and building a toolkit that works for our own individual circumstances.
Each step forward—and yes, even each step back—contributes to this growth mindset. Seen through this perspective, these moments don’t become a point of failure, but opportunities for deeper learning and stronger resolve.
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